Monday, July 6, 2009

ANOTHER DONATION IN!

OK, so I officially have the coolest friends in the world! Stacy Oliver donated a whopping $14.20! Unlike my grandmother, who just might have been certifiably crazy, Stacy didn't just make up that number randomly (at least I don't think she did). She got it because she is giving up her Venti Americanos this week and donating the $ to me instead! Here's what she had to say:
"For the cost of five venti Americanos, I can sponsor Jon in a Jeep Wrangler? Absolutely! He's also strikingly handsome and great at Bejeweled!"
OK, so I made that last sentence up. Anyway, she's going old school and going to brew her own at home like I do. She is truly the bees knees, if in fact bees had knees.

But I have to say, I also have the jack-assiest (yes, its a word) friends in the world. Too many people saying "this is awesome!", "You are so funny!", "Stop scratching yourself in public, jackhole!", things like that, but not making a donation to my cause. Here's another example, Matt agreed to donate 1 RMB (Chinese currency), which amounts to about 14.6 US cents. HAHAHA, very funny, you bastard! Although Matt was my roommate in China, so it actually was pretty funny, but he has yet to follow through on his 14.6 cent pledge. I don't even care if he rounds down, that's how much I admire and respect him. With friends like these, who needs enemas. That's right, I said enema! Don't make me say it again!

This is not a joke people! I'm really trying to do this so help a brother out!
I know, I don't have cancer, I'm also being selfish, but you love me, right? Just a buck or two (or $14.20) is all I ask. Then spread the word about it. Lets see who can get the most number of people to donate to my fund! Special prize in store for the person that refers the most people! Twitter it! Facebook it! Blog it! Make sweet, sensual love to it! Uh, wait... never mind.

4 comments:

Stacy said...

$2.84 is the cost of a venti Americano (with room) to go including applicable tax at my local Starbucks location.

I did the math, dude. And I HATE MATH.

Turtle said...

THAT is exactly why you rock my face off!

Unknown said...

oh jon... if nothing else donating will keep these hilarious posts alive for one more day

Turtle said...

Thanks Sharon! I'll keep em coming!